It suddenly seems as though I’m at a point in my life where absolutely anything could happen. Going into a new year this year feels like a fresh blank slate in a way that it never has before. I can honestly say that I have no idea what 2019 is going to bring, what I’ll be doing, where I will end up or who I might be by the end of it.
It’s unbelievably exciting and completely terrifying all at once.
This time last year, a lot of things in my life had fallen apart. I think about the girl I was then and I hardly recognise her. I had lost sight of myself, who I was, what I wanted, where I was going. I couldn’t understand how I’d ended up there, with nothing, and feeling like nothing.
It took a long time to come back, and if I’m totally honest I think it’s taken this entire year until now for me to actually start feeling like myself again.
When I look back at the year of 2018 I feel like it was the un-learning, the stripping back of all the things I thought I knew to find out who and what I really was at the core of it all. There were a lot more things that changed, went wrong, and roadblocks I hit along the way….but when I look at it now I realise that those were the things that led me to where I am, who I am. The things that seemed the hardest or showed up at first glance as things going “wrong” were the things that were necessary in order to shake up my old life and kick-start me into a new one.
They were the sparks that I needed to set my old world on fire so that I could burn it down and build a new one from the ashes up.
You know what they say, “bumpy roads lead to the most beautiful places”.
That broken girl at the start of this year would never have guessed at the life she would rebuild from ruins. Being forced out of my comfort zone took me to places I never could have imagined, completely blasted the top off my old life and my old ways of thinking, and opened up my mind to dream bigger than I ever had, to discover completely new things about myself and about the world. It changed how I look at the way I live, the possibilities that are out there, the kind of life I can create for myself. I needed my old world to be destroyed to make space for this newer, bigger one, one full of infinite opportunities.
“Your new life will cost you your old one.”
When I look back on it now it feels like I had to lose everything to find out what was really there underneath all along.
So all in all 2018 was a pretty big year. I’m not going to lie it was hard, scary and unpredictable as hell. It took a lot of uncomfortable, deep and emotional work into myself and my own head to make it out to where I am now. It meant facing a lot of truths about myself that it would have been easier to ignore, learning a sh*t ton of forgiveness and acceptance for myself and pretty much everyone around me and some serious balls and risk-taking to have the courage to let go of pretty much all my beliefs about the way the world works, un-learning all those automatic thoughts I had been taught since day one about life and what was expected of me, and re-writing the stories I was telling myself in my head about who I was, what I was capable of, why I wasn’t good enough.
It took a lot, but what I gained was a million times worth it.
It was also an amazing, magical, beautiful year filled with incredible opportunities, people and places. It was an unbelievable adventure.
And you know what’s even better? I just know that 2019 is going to be even more amazing. I can feel it.
Now that I can see the expanse of opportunity lying in front of me, I’m filled with the most amazing feeling of freedom: the knowledge that anything is possible. I could go anywhere, do anything. My life right now really is a fresh start that I could do anything with: there’s nothing holding me back.
A blank page just waiting for me to write on it.
As always, there’s a million and one things I want to do, infinite possibilities, a thousand dreams fizzing around my head and I could do any of them, or end up doing something completely different.
But I always like to end the year with dreams and excitement for the next so I started writing my 2019 Bucket List…..some of them are definites, some of them are maybes but it’s always good to keep dreaming.
The bigger you dream the better, because it seems to me that the bigger your dreams are, the more space seems to grow in your life to fill with them, the wider your mind gets and the more opportunities and possibilities you see everywhere you look!
Any time I make a ‘Bucket List’ or write down my resolutions or dreams for the next year, it’s almost always about travel. I travelled a lot this year, and spent 3 months living out of the country and I intend to travel just as much, if not more in 2019!
I guess I cheated a little bit with this bucket list because I have already made some plans for next year…I’m heading back to Bali in February to do a month’s training to become a yoga teacher. And yes, I am only booking a one-way ticket! So who knows what will happen…..!
For the rest, I’ve got so many adventures that I want to plan! From seeing the Northern Lights (Visiting Iceland was on my bucket list for 2018 too but I didn’t get time to go) to taking a trip in a camper van (I’ve started following loads of ‘van life’ accounts on instagram and they’re giving me some serious roadtrip wanderlust!) there are so many options.
Sometimes the problem can be knowing where to start and what to choose. I’ve dreamt of doing a long road trip forever, and one place I’d love to do it is America – but I literally wouldn’t know where to begin because there’s so much choice and so much to see!
This is when I rely on other blogs and travel sites to get my inspiration. There are lots of great websites to help you plan trips and book tickets to different attractions all in one place – also super useful if you need inspiration for where to go and what to see on a longer trip!
As well as blog recommendations, I use sites like Attraction Tickets to help me plan – it makes it so much easier having everything in one place. They’re an amazing site if you’re planning a trip to the USA and want to see loads of the sights. I’ve never been to New York (shocking I know!) so that’s definitely on my Bucket List for next year, and this site will be so helpful for planning all my activities while I’m there – from booking fancy dinners to skating in central park, booking tours or going to Rockefeller Centre!
They make it easy to find attraction tickets for all sorts of activities across the USA so you’re sorted if you’re planning a trip there – whether you want to go to Disney World, spend a day at Seaworld, visit the Hollywood Hills or plan a wild weekend in Vegas. Just looking at their site makes me want to add a whole heap of new stuff on to my Bucket List!!
Maybe my dream USA roadtrip does need to happen in 2019…..
As well as America they also cover Rome, Paris and Dubai so I’ll definitely be checking out options for my other 2019 bucket list adventures too!
So here’s to another wild year of adventures in 2019! Who knows what it will bring? But I’m more excited than I ever have been before to find out what comes and make the most of this freedom-feeling of not knowing where I might end up next.
I’m pretty sure I’ve still got a lot of learning to do. A lot of trusting in myself and the universe, that I’m following my right path and that it will take me where I need to go. All I can do is keep dreaming, exploring and putting one foot in front of the other, taking baby steps until it all makes sense and falls into place. Bring on the adventure!
What’s on your Bucket List for 2019? I’d love to get inspired by hearing what you’re all dreaming of doing in the New Year – let me know in the comments!
This post was sponsored by Attraction Tickets but as always all thoughts, words and opinions are my own. Visit their website to find out more and book attractions across the USA, Europe and Dubai!