Sometimes in life it’s just time for a fresh start. I’m not gonna lie, I am pretty much the queen of starting over….for some reason it’s just the way life seems to work for me and the universe always seems to chuck things at me that mean starting again (and again). In a weird way I kind of love it. It can definitely be super hard, but it’s also made me grow so so much as a person, explore way more possibilities and opportunities, become way more resilient, and be much more fearless when it comes to taking risks because I know that any plan I make probably won’t turn out the way I think anyway – so why not try something new, scary or exciting if I can? You know what they say, the only certainty in life is that things will change, so if that’s the case then you may as well try things out and go for it with the things you want in the moment because it will probably all change before we know it anyway – we may as well grab it while we can!
Last year was probably my most challenging yet. I don’t want to be negative and say that ‘it wasn’t the best’, although in some ways that’s exactly what I mean. But it was probably also the year of the most growth. I dealt with so much – from job changes (and very toxic work environments), to starting my own business and having my ideas stolen by “friends”, going through (and eventually breaking out of) an emotionally abusive relationship, moving house twice (once to escape from that relationship) and of course all the usual ups and downs of life, I mean it’s not like it’s always smooth sailing at the best of times! Somewhere along the way, I kind of lost myself amongst it all. My confidence was totally gone, I was exhausted, stressed, heartbroken, confused, trying to do too much, basically running on empty. It makes me so sad to look back on now, but I was pretty broken.
“If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.”
As much as I’ve kept going, put on a brave face, buried myself in work, tinder-ed up a storm and generally just talked like everything’s fine, it’s taken me one hell of a long time to get over it all. There have been so many times that I’ve wished I could just stop and get off the ride while I hide in my room and deal with everything, but unfortunately that’s impossible, especially when you run your own business and there’s no one else to have your back when you feel like you just need to stay in bed and figure sh*t out in your head for a while…!
Anyway, climbing my way out at the other side of it all hasn’t just taken time, but also a lot of soul-searching, learning and self-loving. And at last I feel like I’ve found more of myself than I’ve had in a long time (maybe ever)! I’m finally building my self-worth back up, being kinder to myself and embracing and fully living for who I am. When I look back now I can see just how lost and unhappy I was, how unsure of myself. Honestly, thinking about that girl now is like looking at a completely different person!
It’s a funny thing about change….once you start you can’t stop – you just want to keep changing more and more! I always seem to make changes in my life all at once and I think it’s because once you start feeling more yourself in one area, you want to change other things to match up! Now that I’ve started feeling back in touch with myself a lot more, I’ve realised how much other parts of my life weren’t matching up with who I was any more. So that’s where this new start comes in. It’s time I start living fully as myself, not just in my relationships with myself and other people, but in my work and also – here’s the biggie – online. The more I’ve felt like myself irl, the more I’ve realised that I feel like I’m living a sort of double life on social media – feeling the pressure to have an online persona that generates the perfect photos, fits with the crowd and worries about the “likes” more than being true to myself. It’s time for me to embrace who I am in all aspects of my life…so I short you can expect to see some big changes around here! You may have noticed I’ve made some changes to the website and my instagram is evolving into something new too. Say hello to GLOW: the lifestyle blog sharing thoughts, reviews, tips and info all about how to live your best life in whatever area that may be – from Style and Beauty (yes it’s still there!) to Wellness, to Travel guides and my thoughts on Life, Business and everything in between. It’s still me, but talking about what I really care about.
“Change is the only constant in life.”- SOCRATES
I’ve learnt so much over the last year and have been creating my own path into a life that really makes me glow and be myself, and I’ve realised that those are the things I want to talk about here, not “hey look at this pic of me in a pretty dress”. There still will be style imagery I’m sure but that’s not the focus how it used to be; that’s not what matters to me any more. I spoke to someone the other day who said I suddenly looked totally different, as if I’d become a woman, and I think that’s what’s happening here too – my online life is evolving and growing up. So here goes RosieGlow 2.0 – I really hope you’ll stick around and enjoy the ride!