THOUGHTS | Things I’ve already learnt in 2018

I don’t know about you, but for some reason it feels to me like January was both the longest month of my life, and  at the same time absolutely flew by! I feel like I’ve aged about 5 years since the new year…but at the same time in the blink of an eye I’ve taken a month-long blog break without even meaning to because time has just run away with me! So I feel like I need to both explain a little bit why I’ve been so off the radar from my internet life, and take some steps to kick-start my blog again – I’m planning a bit of an overhaul when it comes to RosieGlow (as well as the rest of my non-internet life!) which I’ll explain a little bit more later in this post….

It’s been a crappy and amazing month all at once. I’ve taken my business to the next level, gone through a breakup, settled into a new flat, been screwed over by people I considered friends, got a million miles closer to some of my closest friends, spent some serious time thinking and taking big steps to change how I look after myself, failed at every single one of my new year’s resolutions in less than a week and simultaneously loved and hated being alone. I’ve felt empowered, lonely, excited, angry, bored and content all in the space of a day. I’ve had some of the most productive days ever, and some when I haven’t been able to get out of bed. I’ve laughed until I’ve cried, and cried more times in a month than I probably ever have in my life. I’ve done so many new exciting things, and I’ve also called my Mum to have the same “what am I doing with my life” conversation more than 3 days in a row. Basically, it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster.

But. BUT. I’ve survived it, and actually come out the other end feeling more myself than I have in a long time. My New Year started by having my bag stolen in Barcelona when I was travelling alone for the first time, losing my passport and debit card and not being able to catch my flight home on my own in a foreign city. It could have easily been seen as a pretty bad omen to start the year with, but actually (once tI’d got through the stress), it was pretty empowering. Because it kind of felt like, do you know what? If I can deal with that on my own, then I can deal with whatever else 2018 has to throw at me. And the same goes for my shitty/awesome January – if I got through that, then I’m pretty sure I got this when it comes to whatever this year holds!

So, thanks to a crazy month of ups and downs, here’s some life lessons I’ve already learnt in 2018 – my new new year’s resolutions – and the lessons I’m going to be trying to live by for the rest of the year. Let me know what you think!

1. You can handle way more than you think

It’s funny when something happens that you think is a worst-case scenario. Because once the thing you dreaded is actually happening, you have no choice but to deal with it. And in doing that (once the first bit of shock has passed), you realise that maybe it’s not really that bad. And, actually, you can totally handle it. Just like me stranded in Barcelona, with the classic ‘getting your bag stolen’ fear happening in real life, I realised that actually I could deal with it. It may not have been ideal, but I could cope. And the same goes for everything – you may dread a certain difficult situation, whatever it might be – a confrontation, a break-up, speaking in public – but the truth is, once you’re chucked in the deep end and have no choice but to carry on….it turns out you can handle it way better than you think!

2. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable

When we’re having a hard time it can be so easy to assume that the best way to deal with it is to power through, not show people we’re hurting or struggling, bury hard feelings and try to carry on alone. But I’ve realised recently the secret is, once you aren’t afraid to open up to people and show them your weaknesses or troubles you’ll be amazed by how essentially kind and helpful people can be, whether they’re friends or total strangers. And when we open up to people we might not normally turn to, their advice and a fresh perspective can be even better than what we’re used to! In Barcelona, I was so amazed by how many people were willing to help me out. I met a guy at the airport in the exact same situation as me who sat with me when I was stressing about not being let on my flight home, bought me a coffee and gave me advice about what to do next. That evening when I literally had nothing but 30 euros left in my purse for dinner, I met a group of people in my restaurant who invited me to their table for a glass of wine and let me transfer money to their account so they could get cash out for me and I could survive for the next day! In other situations this month, I’ve found myself re-connecting with old friends and being astonished when they are so instantly on my side to support me, and surprised that their automatic response is just to be nice. It’s so easy to assume that people are more likely to not help us. Especially when you live in London it can seem like everyone is too out for themselves to turn a helping hand to a stranger, but finding myself in those situations lately has really changed my perspective and given me a new faith in humans!

3. It’s okay to do nothing sometimes

Even more than that, it’s important to do nothing sometimes, and to learn to be okay with that. I’ve been terrible at having nothing to do for as long as I can remember – I find it hard to switch off, to feel ‘boring’, I feel guilty for just sitting around or being self-indulgent. I constantly want to be doing or achieving something! But one thing I’ve definitely learnt lately is that I need time alone and time out. That’s not to say it’s been easy, after being in the kind of relationship where you’re constantly out doing something I’m still really learning how to feel okay spending an evening in alone not doing much, but I can already tell how much better it is for my mental state now that I’ve started giving myself more time off! I’ve remembered things that I love to do when I’m ‘doing nothing’ that I hadn’t made the time for ages – having a Sunday lie-in reading a good book, drawing, writing, lighting some incense and listening to music…..all kind of ‘nothing’ activities, but all so good for me and things that I love to do, even if they’re not really ‘doing’ much!

4. Stop dwelling on things you can’t change

It’s so easy to get caught up in situations or people that you wish you could change. I’m a chronic ‘fixer’ so I find it super hard to accept sometimes that a situation is as it is. Even more so when it comes to people. Unfortunately, there are always going to be people who let you down, who you wish you could change, or situations that you wish could have worked out a different way. But the truth is, there’s nothing you can do about them. The only person you have the power to change is yourself, and the only healthy way to move forward is to accept things as they are and let go of wishing that they could be different. I’ve had my fair share of that this month and I’ve had to realise the difficult lesson that by stressing about or dwelling on these things, I’m really only hurting myself. Holding onto negativity about something or someone just stops you from getting over it and focusing on the more positive things or people around you. My break-up was rough, really rough, but no matter how much time I spent thinking about it, being angry at my ex for not being the person I thought he was, or angry at myself for getting it so wrong, eventually I had to just accept that there was nothing I could do to change it. The only thing I could change was my own thoughts about the situation, to actively decide to stop thinking about the negatives and focus on how I could make my own life and self as positive as possible. There’s a great saying, the 5 by 5 rule which says: ‘If it’s not going to matter in 5 years, don’t worry about it for more than 5 minutes’. It sounds extreme, but actually when you think about it, it makes a whole lotta sense! Now I just have to practice letting shit go until I get that quick at it!

5. Do you.

Normally too much ‘you do you, hun’ chat makes me kinda cringe, but recently it seems the universe is trying to tell me something and everywhere I go, I hear more and more things like it – about how you need to figure out what YOU actually want, what matters to you and how to live your life more in-tune with whatever and however that is. One of my main resolutions for this year is to become more in-tune with myself, put myself first and really live my life in a way that is more ‘me’. Being okay with knowing, saying and doing what I need, even if that means going against the ‘norm’, saying no to things or learning to be okay doing something alone or passing on the things that I feel like I ‘should’ do because it’s what is expected by someone else, or by what we think is ‘normal’ in society. It’s tricky trying to figure out what is what when you start thinking this way, but damn wouldn’t life be so much better, and wouldn’t work feel so much more filling if we were spending our time living in a way that’s what we actually need and care about? I’m guessing I’ve pretty much got my work cut out for me, first figuring out what those values are and then making sure I start living for them…but I’m ready to work for it if it means living a happier life! One of the first steps is going to be making my blog a place that I want to be again – I’ll be writing a whole new post about this soon, but for now I’ll just say that this post is just the first of a lot more that will be more like this – talking about life, being more real, and I guess just being more me. I hope that you’ll all enjoy it!

So there you go – the life lessons I’ve already learnt in 2018 and the ones I’m going to keep teaching myself over the rest of the year! Here’s to a happy rest-of 2018 and a year of treating myself right!

What are your 2018 resolutions or the life lessons you’ve learnt this year so far? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

 

Shop the look

Pyjamas – Somerville Scarves*

Glasses – Vision Express*

Bedding – George at Asda

Leaf & Stripe Cushion –  H&M Home

Pink Cushion – George at Asda

Sheepskin Cushion – TK Maxx

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