As the title of this post suggest, I’ve been going through a hella lot of change recently. You might have noticed I haven’t been as active on my blog and social channels for the past few months…unfortunately there’s just been so much going on that I’ve let these things slide, but that should hopefully all change now! I thought it was about time I posted a life update on here to fill you all in, explain my radio silence and hopefully let you know a little bit more about me for once – I’ve shared less and less about my life on here over the last year or so (probably because of going through the unhappy/turbulent times I’m about to share with you) but I really want to change that and make this blog the fun, personal space it used to be! Embracing change is such an important life skill, after all the only thing you can ever be certain about in life is that, no matter what, things will change. So here’s an update from me and my tips for getting through times of change.
In a nutshell, over the last few months I’ve basically changed pretty much all the basics of my life. I moved to London about a year ago with my boyfriend, a move I was super excited about making and had been a very long time coming, only to gradually realise that moving in together in a new city wore away at our relationship, highlighted all our differences and basically resulted in making me into a tired-out, stressed and unhappy shell of my former self. I know this might sound a bit over the top, and I’m not laying all the blame on my relationship here (or him!) but it was definitely a factor in forcing me to make some much-needed changes in my life. At the same time, I was going through a rough time at work – team restructures, moving to the London office from Manchester, and becoming slowly disenchanted with my job – which was piling on even more stress. It got to the point where I was suffering quite badly from anxiety and making myself ill. I went to the doctors feeling sick and run-down and they signed me off work with stress. It was that which finally gave me the kick I needed to take a step back and take a long hard look at my life and what was making me unhappy. I decided to be brave and take a leap to change the things that were causing me to feel like this. I moved out of my flat, broke up with my boyfriend and handed in my notice at work.
Of course it wasn’t easy at the time, and definitely not as simple as it sounds writing it now, but I think I reached such a low point that it was the only thing I could do. Some people probably thought I was crazy, and I don’t blame them, but I am so happy that I had the courage to take the plunge and trust my gut instinct. In all 3 of those situations, the much easier option would have been to stay and hope that things got better but I knew deep down that the essence of what was wrong would never change. I loved my boyfriend, but there would always be differences about us that would make it impossible for each of us to make the other completely happy. I used to love my job, but all the changes in the business had made it into a place that was stunting my creativity and growth and as a result I was spending most of my time in a place that made me feel miserable. I loved my flat, but living with a guy who didn’t want to do the same things I did was holding me back from enjoying London to the fullest, seeing my friends and exploring the amazing new city I had landed in.
So I was brave, and I did it. And just as quickly, everything has already started turning itself around. I’ve moved into a flat share with one of my best friends in the world, decided to go freelance and set up my own business (more news on that soon!) starting a new freelance role with an online yoga company this week and I’m giving myself the time and space to remember the girl that I am without all the stress and negativity. My friends, family, and even people that I haven’t seen in months have all commented on how much happier and myself I seem. Just last week at an event someone I only see a couple of times a year noticed that something was different about me as soon as she saw me, and it’s things like that which have shown me I did the right thing. For someone who doesn’t know anything about your personal life to see the change in you really means something, makes me even happier that I made the decision, and makes me realise that everything that was going on was having way more of an obvious effect than I realised at the time. It’s so easy in this day and age to feel trapped in your life when you have all the things that society tells you to want – a home of your own, a relationship, a steady job – but you still feel like something’s not right. We’re always told that settling down is what we’re aiming for, to the point where people stay in unhealthy relationships or jobs that make them unhappy because they’re afraid there might not be anything better out there. Well if anyone is reading this and wondering the same, then I can definitely tell you that being brave and going with what your gut is telling you is the right thing to do. Yes, it’s scary not knowing what will happen next, being on my own after a long time and starting a career shift, but what I know for certain is that I’m following what my heart is telling me to do and no matter how things work out, as long as I keep doing that, pursuing the things that make me feel happy, fulfilled and inspired then good things will come, no matter what they are. Everything starts from within – if you learn how to be happy with yourself, by yourself and have the courage to do the things that feel right to you (even if only to you) then everything else will follow.
In terms of this blog, I’m hoping that going freelance will give me lots more blogging time too. I’m planning to expand out more into lifestyle, travel and yoga/wellness as I spend most of my time and interest doing things in those areas anyway! Hopefully I’ll be posting much more often and with more variety so I’m hoping that before long this blog will be a much more interesting place to be! Watch this space and hopefully you’ll enjoy the changes to come as much as I do!